What's in a name?

What’s in a name? Interestingly, in our society many of the citizens have legal names which are officially registered at the Registrar General’s Department but yet nobody in the community or family knows them by those names! I kid you not! Imagine a child going to primary school about 11 years old, getting ready to take the examination to enter high school. After all that time in the system the teacher finally realizes, when the birth certificate is produced, that the pupil is not Alex as he is commonly called but his name is…not Alexander… but Basil! How the dickance could you call a child Alex and his name is not Alexander? Alexander is not even his middle name! He is not the worst case as I met an older woman once who told me that she has four different names. How so? At home they called her “Cherry”. Off she went to elementary school run by the church. There her baptism paper, which was apparently used to register her, had Mabel Adina. She grew up thinking she was either of those names until time comes for her to apply for a birth certificate…rude awakening! There was no record of Mabel Adinah! A Mulvina Adinah born to her parents on her birth date is on record but no Mabel in sight. Not even if you are drunk does “Mulvina” sound like “Mabel”! Aside from the “M” sound nothing in common.

Why don’t we call persons by their correct names? Why so many aliases or pet names?

I am the first to concede that some of the names these days are plain ridiculous and I think that the parents in trying to be “unique” end up giving the poor kids names that cannot be written let alone pronounced properly. Some of us might have names that we wished we had money to do a deed poll, because we just don’t like our names for some reason or the other.

Of course, I refuse to get into the topic of the STUPID names the celebrities call their kids as that is just an effort for them to get some attention. I suspect many of these kids will change their names first chance they get and I am sure they will let their parents PAY dearly for giving them those fool-fool monikers.

To be fair, locally, the pet names or aliases might serve some purpose as it tells you a little about the person’s physical characteristics or personality. For example, if your alias is “mawga foot” – you know that you are too skinny. I heard an obituary once with a man called “bud foot” – I am picturing a man with his feet resembling a bird’s feet.

 

If they call you “big ‘ead”; “fat head”– you know your head size is on the enormous side of the scale; “big yeye”; “toad yeye”; “frog yeye” “froggy” – you have bulging or protruding eyes.

 “Foodie”, “Wanga gut”, “belly”, “bigga” – yes, yes you got that right, you love food so much that it is reflected in your extended gut! Diet anyone?

Pot Belly

“Tall man”, “Tallist”, “short man”; “shorty”; “stumpy” – of course, that depicts your height.

Not to mention the aliases describing your complexion:- blacka, blacks, blackie, browny, browning, reds, red man, red gyal….and the list goes on…

To be called “weed head”, “weed seed”, “crack head” calls attention to the bearer’s love of marijuana or other drugs.

“Wormy”, “Rusty”, “Rampuss”, “Dawg heart”, “Doggie” “piggy” and all possible animal combinations have been used as pet names.

Then there are some aliases that I am at a loss to explain: - John Crow (is this person like a scavenger or what?) duppy bat, rolling calf; duppy flim; ratta castle (do rat’s have castles?), "gully pig"…

What are the weirdest pet names/aliases have you heard?