“Now the procession leads to the cemetery
The man holler out, Don't you bury me!
You pick him up, you lick him down
Him bounce right back,
What a hard man fe dead!
The man holler out, Don't you bury me!
You pick him up, you lick him down
Him bounce right back,
What a hard man fe dead!
“Hard Man fi Dead” ~ Prince Buster
Death is clearly one of, if not the most traumatic
experience that people go through in life. Whether the death of a loved one, an acquaintance or even
a pet, we are affected somehow.
Now, it’s bad enough to have to deal with the pain caused
by the loss but when a “SURPRISE” is added in the mix you are fortunate if you don’t
have a massive heart attack in the process!
Surprise? YES surprise!!!!
Recently I read where a 101 year old woman from China,
Peng Xiuhua “died” and woke up at her own funeral!!! The family members then
turned the ceremony into a party of sorts!
Incidentally, I have read other stories of persons “waking
up” from death either in the morgue, just before autopsy or close to interment.
So, what about us locally? Since most of our funerals are
held WEEKS after the person’s death to facilitate the arrival of all the family
members and friends who live overseas; enough time to plan the “bashment”
send-off complete with musical band (marching band + pom pom girls for extra
special folks); organizing the repast, nine-night and all the nights leading up
to it (which gives the neighbors enough time to “nyam” you out of house and
land and drink off all of the rum, beers and hard liquor you can manage to provide),
could this actually happen? Not likely, in these days, but it has happened
before and fairly recently too!
Yes, I read a story in the local newspaper and was
totally amused because the poor old man woke up en route to the morgue. The
funeral parlor workers and the police men who were escorting him fled out of
the van when the old man, who was wrapped in a sheet as is customary, sat up
and started to cough! They abandoned the vehicle and ran to a nearby shop,
traumatized and related their story! Read it for yourself here:
Poor policemen, who are supposed to be brave, but then I
would be shocked too, to be fair.
You see, in general many Jamaicans, ‘fraid a duppy! We
don’t too like those sorts of spooky things. We don’t have any Jamaican “Ghost Hunters”
or “Ghost Adventures” or “Paranormal State”! We are not “made” that way… That there are those who delve into the
dark side and love obeah is another story! By the way, some are proposing that Obeah be decriminalized.
Anyway, it is not a pleasant experience and pranks on someone's death should not be
done even in jest. A friend recounted to me an incident when he was a child in
the country. Back in those days, before funeral parlors became modernized, burials
were carried out very quickly after the person’s demise. A man reportedly died
in the district and the funeral workers were called. When they arrived it turned
out the man had awakened and gone to his fields to work. So the workers decided
to play a prank on the other villagers. One of them wrapped himself in the
sheet and lied on the bed. One by one the villagers came from far and wide and neighboring
districts to pay their respects to Mass Zephie, who was a “good man”.
While they were gathered in the room and all in
attendance recounted how good Mass Zephie was to them, extolling his excellent
qualities, the funeral worker found it amusing and, in an effort to hold in his
laughter, started to shake even as muffled sounds escaped his lips.
In an instant the room was cleared as many ran out
screaming, shouting, bawling, leaving behind their hats, shoes and slippers. An
elderly man who walked with a cane surprisingly dropped his cane and bolted out
of the house too!
If that were done today, believe me the funeral worker
would be on the receiving end of a fine tongue lashing and a good beating!!
Bottom line: People, please make sure the person is
actually dead and not in a coma. Get a doctor to pronounce the
person and don’t take it for granted that the individual is no longer with us. Also, for you greedy people out there, at least make sure the person is dead before making arrangements or worse yet you start stripping the person's house and personal effects or"buss a piece a war" over the “dead-lef’” things you can't wait to inherit! Thank you.
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