Believe it or Not?

I have come to the conclusion that as a people we are very convincing. Whether young or old, male or female, we seem to be gifted at using the most convincing arguments to further our own opinions; prove a point or two or to simply get what we want.   That some, like the lotto scammers and other con artists, choose to use this ability in a negative manner on unsuspecting individuals is material for another blog…

Now, we have the ability to convince listeners of practically anything! The reasoning presented might be quite ludicrous, however, the delivery of the argument – fully complemented by hand gestures, facial expressions and a variation of pitch and pace, is SURE to win the listener over.

Take for example a conversation I overheard between two mature women (no, I was not deliberately eavesdropping they were actually talking quite loudly):-

“Bwoy Mazie, all now mi a feel di pain, fram yesterday evening...” her face etched with discomfort.

“Which part yuh a feel di pain Nancy?”

“Right yah so…” (she points to an area just below her breast)

“Den Nancy, fram yesterday??!!! Yuh know sey a GAS cause dat, yuh did eat?”

“Gas? Yes, mi did eat, man!”

“It no matter! ! A coulda be fram de day before if yuh never did eat!! A no di same day it tek yuh up! Gas a one wicked sum-ting Nancy no ramp wid it! Yu know sey dat gas travel in yuh bady and it can go under yuh heart and lift it up an kill yuh?!!!!!” (As she speaks she demonstrates how the gas moves through the body and how it LIFTS the heart up…)

“A true?”

“OF COURSE A TRUE!!!! Mi wouldn’t tell yuh no lie! A one DANGEROUS sumting! Yeah, when mi did likkle a same suh gas di kill one man inna we district! From den mi no joke wid it! Look here, when you go home yuh better bwile some mint tea and get two a di tough water crackers and eat dem and see if it wi move it” she cautions her friend.

Did it ever occur to her that perhaps the chest pains her friend was experiencing might be brought on by some other medical condition? Could she be having a mild heart attack? hmmmm..I wonder if it was a heart attack that killed the man in the district??!!

If you have a headache, bellyache, backache or are experiencing pain, regardless of where, chances are many will tell you “mind a gas” or “gas can do that” and proceed to give you 10 different home remedies to try to relieve the “pain”.

Speaking of remedies, quite a few persons are convinced that the “duppy soursop” (Noni) is the cure all and swear by it. Not to mention the Sinkle Bible (Aloe Vera) lovers, cerasse, soursop leaves and other drinkers of all sorts of bush who try to convince others to “drink up” to your good health. I am sure they have their merits and I am not knocking them for that. However, until they come up with a way to make those bushes smell and taste better, I am not “convinced” enough to drink them.

Sinkle Bible (Aloe Vera )

 Another "convincing argument"...sort of ...concerned a rather “serious” comment on the “dangers” of a hurricane, a reality we deal with annually, made by an older man reasoning with a youngster:

“You can stay dey laugh, di hurricane can reverse back and lick wi again!” the older man stated.

“Eeeehhh? Mi  never know dat at all” grinned the youth.

“Of course, den yuh no memba hurricane Gilbert inna 1988?”

“No sah, mi did a baby dem time deh”

“A dat a go kill yuh! Yuh too young! Yuh no know danger! Dats why me a try learn yuh few tings and yuh a grin like yuh a eeediat”

Or perhaps:

“I wonder where Mr. Mittens gone, this is the 4^th day now I haven’t seen him?!! I wonder if the dogs killed him. This is the third male cat of ours that has just disappeared!”

“But Ms. Ellie, memba say dat after a while di male puss dem go a bush an go tun patoo owl “

Barn Owl

 

“What?? You must be crazy!” I laughed out.

“OF COURSE!!! EVERYBODY know dat! From mi a grow up inna di country mi hear dat, an a TRUE TRUE TING! An yuh know sey dem deh bird deh a no good sign. Den you really never know dat di male puss dem go a bush go tun patoo??!” she asks incredulously.

Regardless of what she says, you and I know that it is plain impossible for a male cat go off into the bushes and transform into a patoo (Barn Owl) so that argument is most absurd.

If given a chance, I am sure she would enlighten me on many other things I do not know much about like Annie Palmer, the White Witch of Rosehall, Rolling Calves, and try to convince me of the existence of the River Mumma (Jamaican Mermaid) and her golden comb, to name a few.

Rose Hall Great House, Jamaica