Sleepless in Kingston

"It's close to midnight
and something evil's lurking in the dark..."
                 - Thriller, Michael Jackson


I wonder if the late MJ ever spent a night on my street prior to writing these lyrics? He went on to sing
"Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed..."

Now, by tweaking the lyrics a bit, and adding a healthy dose of paranoia you
have every reason NOT to fall asleep!

Get this, I am DEAD tired, just finished editing a document I had been working on all day...
had a shower and jumped into my most inviting bed after fluffing up my pillows, putting in the
vape mat so that I am not ambushed and assaulted by zealous kamikaze mosquitoes I close my tired eyes ready to drift off to sleep when...


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzz...
loooooong pause then again with that sound!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzz

Well, the paranoid side plus my overactive imagination tells me that the sound is from a power saw and that one of the creepy neighbours is up to some sinister deed by carving up a cadaver! 

Were that so then there would be enough material to make a movie, but truth is it is one of the blasted neighbours cutting TILES!!!!! YES, YOU HEARD OR READ RIGHT...some moron is tiling a house at midnight!!   My first guess would be the same jackass that was using a weedwhacker at 6:30 a.m. a couple of Sundays ago but the sound seems to be coming from the other direction.

What is wrong with these people? I really, really wish this were the U.S then I could call and report them but here it makes no sense as the police will not leave the warm station to come and quiet the miserable tiler, plus they will probably tell me that they have no vehicles etc. etc.   Worse case scenario the cops arrive and realize that a) the house belongs to a senior cop b) the miserable tiler is a cop moonlighting by tiling AFTER HOURS (c) the investigating cops know the miserable tiler because they are related or went to school together or lived in the same community or used to date some relative or one of them....either way I AM DOOMED for sure!

What is a girl (okay not quite a girl here but...) to do to get some peace and quiet to sleep??!!! At times like these I actually think Queen Ellie has an advantage since she is severely hard of hearing.

Ah...wait 7 minutes just passed without that annoying sound! Did somebody knock the tiler unconscious? did another neighbour go over and tell him a few choice words...you know the kind of jamaican fabrics (cloths) not sold in PINGS or PABLOS or Fabrics de Younis??? I have no clue but I am going to use this opportunity to go to sleep as quickly as possible before the grudge match between the dogs begin...








p.s Wishful thinking, the idiot has started again. He apparently was on a bathroom break! Now, if he could only fall into the toilet and get stuck...