“Oh
what a beautiful morning
Oh,
what a beautiful day…
I’ve
got a beautiful feelin’
Everything’s
goin’ my way”
~ Oscar
Hammerstein II
Picture this; I wake up feeling GREAT
after a good night’s sleep –one uninterrupted by howling dogs, amorous cats,
crazy tilers – the neighbourhood is generally quiet except for the occasional
vehicle moving about…the SUN is shining! Awwwww…how lovely!
I head to the shower all the time happily singing
“Oh what a beautiful morning”... thinking of the various things I have on my
agenda and how quickly I would be able to get them done…better get out as soon
as possible before the rush hour…
Even as I step into the shower I am
singing in earnest (yes, I do have a good singing voice) to the thrill of my
neighbours undoubtedly:
“Oh what a bee-uuu-ti-full mooorn-ing!
Oh
what a bee-uu-ti-ful day
I’ve got a bee-uu-ti-ful feel—ing
Every-thing’s going… RRHHAAAAHTIID!!!!!!!!!!! I
half sung half screamed!!!!!
No, no, no! Hammerstein did not say that
in his version but as the water HIT ME FULL BLAST I thought for a second that I would go
into cardiac arrest! Why oh WHY is the
water so very cold at 9:30 in the morning? After all, this is NOT Mandeville,
Coleyville, Holywell nor New Castle!!!!!
This is KINGSTON!! The water is NOT SUPPOSED to be so cold!!! Better hurry up
and get out from under this cold water before my heart just stops beating – No
more singing THAT is it! Come now
people, you ALL know how cold water can cause you to have a heart attack! Do
you recall going to the country or living in the country and when it’s time to
bathe they have to put water in the sun to “warm” up for you or “put it on the
wood fire”? These are your RELATIVES who ask mockingly “yuh fraid a likkle
wata” and you incredulously ask “do you SERIOUSLY expect me to bathe in that
water that you have in a tank that is cold like ice?”
In any event it is definitely time for me
to check out investing in a solar water heater! JPS getting too much money
already without installing an electric water heater!
Having recovered from a serious bout of
“shivering” I manage to get dressed and leave home in short order.
I head to the bus stop where there are
three persons standing. “Good morning” I say…
One man grumbles “mawning” the other two, well
based on the strange look they give me, are not accustomed to persons telling
them hello and so they just do not respond. Hmmmmm what a set of ill-mannered swine
I think to myself…
After waiting for a long while for the
JUTC to come I get fed up and go into a “shuttle” taxi… one of the “regulars”
who doesn’t drive like a mad-man nor look like a criminal. I have known him for
at least 6 years and so feel comfortable enough. Off we go, finally!
As we approach the Washington Blvd/
Molynes Road intersection, I see a man pushing a car and steering at the same
time. The vehicle was clearly disabled but why? Did this car just “bruk” down
pon di man so? What? Did it run out of gas? He was heading in the direction of
the gas station. Why was nobody helping him? Poor soul….
Anyway he pushes the car with all he has even
as the sweat pours down his face and body. To add to this man’s problem, as we
drive by the male passenger in the front of our car hangs half-way out the
window and shouts “My yute yuh waaan a matches fi light dat?” grinning from ear
to ear as if he just said something worth grinning about.
The man angrily shouts at him “MOVE YUH
DUTTY $$***@@!!**%%*### AND GUWHEY BWOY!”
I must say he certainly deserves every bit
of the “Claaawts” that is hurled at him. Wouldn’t it have been nicer to offer
to come and help him push the car over to the gas station? Or at the very least SHET HIM MOUT?? SHHEESSH! He gets off two
stops down the line and a woman gladly takes his spot in the front seat.
As she enters the car and buckle up we are
suddenly overcome by the very, very sweet smell of her perfume or cologne or
whatever it is she is wearing. It is so powerful I am convinced that I am going
to pass out. My head started to feel light and my sinuses start to give due
warning that at any minute everything is going to go haywire if I do not get
some fresh air PRONTO! I wonder if they will kill me if I open the window
though everybody else is enjoying the AC? No I am really going to be sick…
“Baby…yuh SU-MELL NICE yuh know, me nah
tell no lie, is wha’ pearberry!” says the idiot driver.
“No”
“A Victoria Secrets though”
“No is not Victoria Secret”
“Wha’? so a wha it name cause it su-mell
real good, yuh man mussi happy”?
Now is this the new pick-up line? If he
had asked me…which he didn’t..,. I would have indicated that what she is
wearing could not be a Victoria’s Secret fragrance as it just smells cheap.
Now, I am not saying that I am an expert on perfumes and designer perfumes; I
am not knocking the less expensive brands either, but you CAN tell the
difference. In any case the idea is not to BATHE in the perfume but to use it
lightly AFTER you shower. Dousing yourself in perfume like that is just WRONG!!
After having my nose assaulted I finally
get to my stop…Yaaay! But my head is light, the sun is hot and it takes a while
for me to regain my composure and cross the street.
As soon as I get on the other side, I come
face to face with a man mumbling … is this a mad man I think to myself? But as
I got even closer I realize he is not an outpatient of Ward 21 but a cash for
gold buyer mumbling “gold mi a buy...gold mi a buy” (yes their activity is
illegal and so they are not a vocal as first time)… He realizes that I am not
wearing gold but silver so he says “mi buy silver too”….he is the first of five
cash for gold vendors in the short trek.
To think I started the morning singing “Oh
what a beautiful morning…” – ALAS!
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