“Manners maketh man”
~
William of Wykeham (1324-1404)
When this quote was made centuries ago, I rather doubt
William of Wykeham had such boorish behavior shoved in his face on a daily
basis! I wonder what he would say were he alive today??
I find that the general society is getting more
ill-mannered and RUDE…my face has almost become cast with a permanent “scowl” –
no, not because I smell something rather obnoxious, but because these folks are
just unbelievable!!! Where do I begin???!!!
Let’s start with the young female (I refuse to refer to
her as a young lady cause that she most certainly was not) who boarded the bus
that plies Half-Way-Tree – New Kingston – Mountain View.
While the rest of us regular passengers
quietly paid our fares, got our seats and sat waiting patiently for the bus to
pull away from the stop… on comes Ms. Thing.
Now at a first glance she could pass for “normal” except
for the yellow, no, not blonde - YELLOW and Bright Ronald McDonald red coloured
hairstyle she was sporting. On closer inspection, I realize that there was some
level of coordination going on as the yellow hair matched her “yellow” or
“light coloured” face while the rest of her body - ears, neck, arms, legs which
were dark were to match her skirt/shoes etc.
Stopping on the second step and without even saying
excuse me or good morning or even the courtesy of waiting until the driver
finished making change for an old lady in front of her “Driva, yuh know weh
Horgyle Road deh? A dis bus mi fi tek?” --- Pause – as the driver finishes
taking the fare and telling the old lady to take a seat”…”Eeeeh driva??!!” – of
course by now her annoying drawl was getting decibels louder to counteract the
throttling bus engine…
Poor driver; probably shocked by her hairstyle but
obviously confused as to WHERE she wanted to go (he might have thought that she
was looking for Bellevue) took a while to respond...
She hissed her teeth and mumbled under her breath all the
time looking at the brown envelopes in her hand. Then one woman shouts out “yes
tek da bus yah and when it tun di karner at di stop light out a Lady Musgrave
hax di driva fi put you off before ‘im tun pon Fairway Havenue…” clearly this
woman knows where Argyle Road is…
Sounds reasonable enough to me… she comes on takes a seat
designated for the elderly/disabled and proceeds to go into her bag to take out
a $100 note which she stretches across to pay the driver. He makes her change
and gives her the ticket. Soon he is collecting from the last person to get on
when Ms Thing turns around and says “which part yuh say again?” –“hax di driva
fi gi you a stop a di karner please when him leave di stop light a lady
Musgrave but before him tun pon Fairway. Den yuh just tun pon da road deh an
yuh wi find it” – “yuh going dere too?” “No but mi a tell you weh fi go, jus
beg him fi please put you off whe me tell yuh”
At this point I am wondering if she is just hard of
hearing or daft??! Before I could even finish that line of thought Ms. Thing
blurts out “Driva drap me a di corner before yuh tun pon Fairway” …
Now, after the woman tells her to “ask please”, “beg di
driva please put you off di bus” at an area that is not a designated stop in
other words begging a huge favor of the driver, there she is “ordering” the
driver to make a stop. Truth be told - he should have put her off from the
beginning!
To add insult to injury no sooner had the bus begun to
move down H-W-T- Road, I hear rustling of paper...you know the sound you get
when you are trying to open a candy wrapper or something only much, much
louder?
My trained ear turns to the direction of the sound and my
inquisitive eyes follow suit! There is Ms. Thing eating...YES EATING get this,
not a candy – which is forgivable – but a DANISH whirl, yes pastry with the red
jelly on top!
I am just in time to see her use the same hand she handled the
dirty money with to poke a huge piece of Danish complete with fingers half-way
into her mouth!!! YUCK!!! As if that is not bad enough she proceeds to lick off
the jelly off all her fingers! Oh, she also has a small soft drink in a brown
paper bag which she also slurps on loudly. Did I mention that there is a HUGE
sign in the bus and on the door that says “No Eating, No Drinking, No Smoking”?
I tried not to gag at the thought of so much germs going down her stomach. I
feel my face contorting and my eyebrows becoming unibrows and although I try
not to look I could not stop looking just as those persons who cannot tear
themselves away from the sights of a terrible accident! I HAVE to get off this
bus –New Kingston is just one stop away! I wonder if my face can go back to its
original shape???!!
I get off in New K, completely disgusted as I head
towards the LOJ Center or Sagicor whatever the name is. I slowly open the door
because this glass door weighs more than me and so I have to “muscle up” to
open it when “SWOOOSH” something breezes and brushes past me faster than Usain
Bolt! I hold up my head to see what it is only to see a big, “tough” man with a
blue rider’s helmet in his hand and a black bag strung across his torso making
his way down the passage! What the heck!!! Do I look like a doorman? Instead of
opening the door for me the WRETCH fly through as soon as I open it! If I had
known that was his plan I would have stuck my foot across his path and watch
him fall to the ground and eat dust!!!!!! After that I would jump over his head
and go my merry way!!
Now don't get me wrong! I not saying a man has to open the door for me, even
though that is a nice gesture, but at least allow me to go through since I am
opening it for myself!!! SHEEEESH!
Maybe I should introduce this door hogging hombre to Ms
Danish Whirl Eating Thing! They would make a lovely couple – perfect match. I
would, however, remove their reproductive capacities because it would be a great
disservice to the society to have them procreate….beginning to sound as if I
have dictatorial inclinations… ALAS
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