The Good, the Bad and ...

The road is extremely busy at that hour of the morning and I notice an old blind man standing at the side of the road. I am not too sure that he wishes to cross but then I walk up to him and ask if he would like to cross the street. He is only too happy to accept the offer and I take up the challenge of getting him safely to the other side.

I make sure that there are no cars, buses, trucks, exuberant bike riders coming and cross halfway to the median. Yaaay, we are halfway through. Now if someone would just stop to make us cross. Soon a white Nissan stops and so I instruct the old man to step down as we now have clearance to go and we step off.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKKKK!!!!!HHHOOOOONNKKKKK!!!! HOOOONKKKKK!!!

Is some jackass blowing his horn at us? Before I could even glance to my left….

“Wha’ di **@@&&%$###** you a blow fah? You nuh si di lady a cross di blind man?!!!! Wha’ yuh wan’ mi fi do? Lick dem down and kill dem?!!!” shouts the driver of the white car, who by now is hanging halfway through his window and gesticulating wildly.

“Hurry up and drive up di old piece a cyar and shut yuh **&&^^%%** mouth!” shouts the piggish driver of a battered blue pickup van.

“Go way you a real **@@&% eeediat!!! A must buy you buy you license!!” replies the driver of the white car.

Oh my, I hope this does not escalate into a serious case of road rage as too many “claawts” are flying around as it is. The first driver was being kind and the other driver was just being a true pig and would not wait! Such impatience!

Thankfully, we make it safely across and I escort the old man to his destination on the other side and he thanks me profusely. I feel happy that I was able to assist him.

In a span of 10 minutes I experienced the good, the bad and the ugly! Listen to "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQGGQ-FCe_w

Anyway I proceed on my merry way but see a young woman in striped multi-colored tights showing off her level 4 “post baby bod” (each level represents a layer) walking with a newborn mostly exposed, its head uncovered and no umbrella in the 8:45 a.m sun.

The woman spins around to look at the “Crosses” man, sorry I mean the man with the “stop children crossing” sign who is talking with another person.

By the time she walks pass me her mouth is contorted into an extended pout and her lips by now are as long as a swordfish. She is rolling her eyes and hissing her teeth.

I wonder what the man said to her. She seems totally annoyed.

Swordfish

Nonetheless as I approach the man I realize that he is fuming too. Hmmmmm…I wonder what is going on here.

“See it deh! Me a tell yuh say dem deh ‘ooman mustn’t have pickney! Dem no ready fi have children at all! De pickney head no fi tun out toward di road. Di mother must hold di baby head  di odder way facing  di fence!! Di sun inna di baby face a bun him.”

“Oh I see” said the other man.

Actually, I agree with him that the baby needs to be properly covered and protected from the sun and wonder why she doesn’t have an umbrella or a cap for the little one.

“Dem a have pickney too early these days and dem no know nutting! Dem madda supposed fi teach dem certain tings but dem grow up too fast by di time di madda fi teach dem a ting or two dem done breed already!”

I get to my destination and as I am walking through the gate there is a Prado with a dark tint lining up to go into one of the few parking spaces left. The space is very tight as one of the other drivers has parked on the line. The Prado reverses and goes forward a number of times and just could NOT line up to fit that large vehicle in the space. What does the driver think he is driving? A Suzuki Swift or a Mini? What?

For the life of me, I cannot understand why the silly driver doesn’t circle the plaza to see if there is a better spot elsewhere. Perhaps he or she was just plain lazy or something.

As I walk toward the store, the absurdity of the Prado trying to fit into the smallest possible place replays in my mind and the Jamaican version of the Mission Impossible theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gA1rOVCX0cw just keeps ringing in my head…I wonder why?