Signs...

“My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy…”

                ~ Maya Angelou

Being familiar with the above quote from Maya Angelou, I am trying my best to understand certain situations that I come across on a regular basis.

“MUNCHIE!!! MUNCHIE!!!” a young woman bends across the passenger seated next to her to shout through the window of the bus to her friend or relative walking outside.

“Munchie mi get it! Me get di ting!”

Munchie looks puzzled and asks “Wha’?”

“Mi get di ting man! Me get di “F” Tuesday gone”

“Di “f”? Munchie asks.

“YES! Mi get di “F” from Bobby”.

“De “F”??! Bobby? Wha’ yuh a talk ‘bout?”

“LAWD A MASSY! Me a tell yuh say me get de “F” - di FONE!!!!!!!! One Digi”

“Ohhhhh!!!! You get di phone!!! Dat’s nice, yuh must call me later after me come from work”

“Okay, mi will call you tonight”

Did she just say “F” is for phone? Seriously?!! We know that words are generally spelled how they are pronounced and that English is not the easiest of languages to learn. However, “F” for “fone” is funny. It is almost as funny as a sign I saw on a cane vendor’s cart some time ago “In God we Chust, all others pay cash”.

While coming along we pass a HUGE funeral with hundreds of cars and mourners – a sea of black, black and white and purple outfits.

“Wait, a wonder a who funeral dat?” asks a mature woman.

“Eh, eh…look people!!!” another comments.

“A mus one big man in society fi get dem big crowd deh” adds an elderly man.

“A true dat. Ongle di big man dem get dem deh caliber a fineral” says a woman in a “Pepto-Bismol” pink blouse.

“Coo pon di quality cyar!!!! You see dem boasy van deh!! A mus’ one important man dead, a wondering a who fah funeral?!” the elderly man continues.

“Hugo Chavez” says a man in a polo shirt and cap – his face totally straight.

“Who you say?” the old man asks.

“Hugo Chavez” the man repeats, without a hint of a smile.

“Oooohhhhh, I see” the old man nods as he takes another look at the crowd.

It took a good minute and a half before one of the two ladies recognizes the joke and start to chuckle. The old man apparently still does not get it.

“Man, you no easy at all! Hugo Chavez!” and she laughs out loudly before turning to the old man to explain that Hugo Chavez indeed died and that his funeral was going on but in Venezuela.

I doubt the old man even knows who Chavez was….

On crossing the road, after disembarking, lo and behold there’s a man relieving himself against the wall. He must be dying to go as he doesn’t even try to hide behind a tree or something! Isn’t urinating in public a crime? Not to mention if it is a spot used regularly by the male populace the spot becomes “wrenk” yes it smells offensive! Hombres, please stop it!!!!!

 

It is no wonder then that in some areas signs warning against the practice have been put up. True, most of the signs are “informal” on a piece of board or written directly on the wall. Some put it in proper English “Do not Urinate here”; while others are more blunt “No piss yah so!” whatever the wording the message is quite clear do not urinate in public spaces.

 

At the end of the day, in spite of a negative perception, I am quick to admit that we are a creative and somewhat comical set of people. Just notice some of the signs we put up as you traverse the island and you will surely agree with me!

Hey goat herders better beware!