Chicken Tales...

Since I feel like connecting with the Chinese roots, I decide to cook sweet and sour chicken for dinner. This means a trip to the supermarket to get chicken, preferably breasts, as that would provide fleshy parts and I would not have to waste time de-boning the other pieces etc.

Sweet and Sour Chicken

I waltz into my favorite supermarket and pick up a can of pineapple slices then head straight to the freezer section.

 “Legs– No”

“Thighs– No”

“Wings – No”

“Gizzard??!! – Definitely no!!!! ”

“Hmmmmmm….there MUST be some de-boned breast in here…somewhere” I think to myself as I go through various trays of chicken.

“Aha! I found them! YAAAAAY!!!”

However, my joy is short lived as I soon realize that a) there are no deboned breasts and b) the breasts are rather small like some “A” cup size and I was hoping for big breasts, you know like some DD’s or something. I am disappointed and perhaps it shows on my face. I have been noticing that the size of the chickens (I call them anorexic chickens) have decreased while the price for them has increased dramatically!

Certainly we would not have a problem paying more if you were getting more but now you are paying for more but getting less…did you notice that?

The conversation between a two female shoppers digging in the freezer beside me supports my notion and now, I don’t feel too “miserable” after all:

“Look pon dis price fi me, please, mi no have on mi glasses” said the older woman.

“$1020” responds a woman in a long jeans skirt and sneakers.

“$1020 fi dis ya chicken yah?!!! Look how di chicken maawga!!!!”  the older woman exclaims.

“A true! By di time yuh put dat inna di pot it swink up and nutting deh fi yuh fi eat, a mostly ice yuh get”

“LAWD JEEZAS!! Mek dem no allow di chicken dem fi fully grow, eeeeeh?!!! Dis chicken yah too likkle!!!

Mi can’t afford fi a buy dis yah likkle maawga chicken yah fi dem breed a money deh! IS A SIN!!!” says the old woman.

“Mek mi tell you something, ef mi did have di space up whey me live now mi would a build one fowl coob and raise two fowl fi myself and mi fambily! Me could a even sell dem to mi neighbor dem cause a whole heap a people no like di machine chicken dem! Dem full up a harmones and dat can give you cancer mi hear!” the lady in the jeans skirt explains.

Live Chickens

 

“That’s true, I prefer the home-grown chicken myself but my supplier got sick and his sons apparently are not interested in that business, so I am forced to buy the chickens here because my children mostly want to eat chicken!!” another shopper has now joined the discussion.

“And di home-grown fowl eat better dan these in the supermarket!!! No matter how you season dem still no have no taste” says the old woman.

She does have a point. I have tested the theory and I have found that the homegrown chickens generally are more flavorful!  But some of them tend to take longer to cook.

I leave the trio discussing the merits of home-grown chickens versus supermarket chickens and make my way to the cashier.

As I stand in line I ponder how feasible it would be to raise chickens commercially….hmmmmm…then I recall what a friend told me some time ago about a farmer in the rural area who raised chickens. This man was constantly plagued by praedial larcenists. No matter what he did to prevent the thieves from stealing his chickens, including getting a few dogs, all his efforts failed!

Chickens in coop

Eventually, in desperation, he decided that he was going to stand guard in the  chicken coop one night, with his machete in hand to confront the culprit(s).

Armed with his weapon of defense and a flash light he went inside the coop at about 10:00 p.m to await the crooks, he was determined to catch them this time…

The next thing the poor man remembered was waking up to a steady, rocking motion. He then realized that, while he was still inside the coop with the chickens, it was loaded on the back of a flat bed truck and they were on a dark road heading out of the district…

I do not know if this account is true or not. However, one thing is sure, thieves today can be as determined to get what you have, even if you think you are totally prepared!