Licenses

Today’s topic, ladies and gentlemen, is Licenses.

Let’s see…there is the Driver’s License; Pilot’s License; Motorcycle License; Boat driver’s license - to name a few. But guess what? Miss Ellie is proposing yet another license…tedious BUT most essential in this day and age, in my opinion.

I would LOVE to see the introduction of a Walker’s/Pedestrian License (no, no, no this one would be FREE once you past a rigorous test). You see, I find that as “disgusting” and “dangerous” as motorists can be, pedestrians can be as disgusting and hazardous! Face it folks ALL of us are pedestrians even when we own a motor vehicle.

The big  problem is that too many persons seem to be CLUELESS on how to walk or use the roads and sidewalk (even though sidewalks are practically non-existent in some cases) and generally seem oblivious as to how to “walk” with due consideration of other “walkers”.

Picture this: I am walking through the mall, humming “Affairs of the Heart” by Damion “Junior Gong” Marley,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT7RvkjFto8 keeping to the left as I pass by a number of stores. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye there is flash of orange and white, as a door swings open and a hulk of a man steps across my path! I barely avoided bumping into him fully although I believe my size seven did touch the heel of his size 13 sneakers!!! Not that he would have noticed…

“Yow mi daaawg! Whey u deh? Mi no see yuh?!! Come down now. Me in front a di shop” while chatting on his Blackberry!! Yes, I am still trying to figure out this matter of calling your friends “dogs”.

Tell me, how many of you have had people a) walk across your path (b) bump into you, because they are distracted whether chatting on the phone, fixing something, rummaging in their handbags or something (c) stop abruptly in front of you (d) all of the above

I strongly believe that the way an individual walks is a good indication of how he or she behaves once behind the steering wheel!

Imagine the case I mentioned earlier. If we were actually operating motor vehicles he, coming out of the “minor road” (the store) should have waited until the way was clear before he proceeded onto the “main road” i.e. outside of the store. Chances are, however, that if he were actually driving he would have driven out onto the main road without looking and thus cause an accident.

Why should I even care? Because it is very frustrating when people don’t “walk” properly and create a nuisance!

Recently, I was walking in a business center. It was lunch time and the place was teeming with people. I was walking behind a damsel in sky-high heels that seemed to be having problems walking in them.

She stopped suddenly and I almost bumped into her. Of course, I would have been at fault as I should not have been walking so closely behind but I was in a hurry and the place was kind of congested. Before I could pass her she started moving again and unexpectedly her hand jutted outward as she gesticulated wildly in an effort to get her point across to the person she was speaking with on her cell phone.

I sigh and decided to walk to the extreme right just to avoid this woman when no sooner than I started to do that she somehow drifted across my path! Just like those drivers who DRIFT ACROSS LANES! Stay in your lane!!!

By now Ellie’s patience was worn thin. I could have been seriously injured if she stepped on my foot with one of those daggers...er...shoes.

Without even realizing it I hissed my teeth really, really loudly. My eyebrows became” unibrows” and my hazel eyes became RED! Did I actually say “Cho backside!” out loud for her to hear? Or was it the speed at which I “overtook” her coupled with the glare I gave in the process that prompted her to say “Sorry”.

Please do me a favor folks, just be cognizant of your environment and remember to show some consideration to your fellow pedestrians…that is all I am asking.