Bills

“Oh crumbs! Another text message! I wonder who it is this time.” I muttered on hearing the alert on my phone.

“Oh, JPS sending me a reminder to pay my bill…pay my bill?!! What date is it?” I had better go pay the bill before they disconnect my light.

Faster than a speeding “Bolt” or bullet I got dressed and headed out. How could I have forgotten to pay the bill? Didn't I just pay a light bill like 2 weeks ago? While caught up in questioning myself (and answering of course) I realized that the morning was almost over and I still had a lot of work to do.

Since time was against me, and against my better judgment, I decided to take one of the shuttle taxis on the route. The driver, a young, wiry looking man sporting a dreadlock hairstyle beckoned to me “Half-Way-Tree browning, you no ready? Come man, right away no hitching!”

I got in and off he sped. I felt as if I was in an airplane on the verge of take off! A few of his “locks” were flying in the wind and I felt happy not to be seated directly behind him as I KNOW that were any of them to hit me in the face I would have caught and secured them tightly to the headrest of his seat.

As I sat clinging to the seat in front of me and wondering if this trip is an example of “G-force” in action, suddenly Beethoven’s 5^th Symphony http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4IRMYuE1hI started to play.The man seated next to me reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

“Yeh!” he said. I recall thinking if that was the best he could do in answering the phone. Whatever happened to hello or hi or good morning… SIGH

“Me soon reach mi deh a Half-Way-Tree” he told the other party.

 Such a liar I thought, you are nowhere NEAR Half-Way-Tree.

 “No! Me say mi SOON REACH just wait pon mi!!!” he seemed annoyed.

Thankfully I arrive alive at my destination.  “This should be over in a few minutes then I can get back to work” I thought. I was wrong…VERY WRONG! The lines were long.

 “Backside man! Look how long me stan’ up yah so and di line nah move! A wha’?” a man in an aqua shirt shouted.

“A true man! Look from when mi come ‘ere and is like dem tink we no have nutting fi do” commented a woman in a denim miniskirt and a black blouse.

“Why dem a take such a long time mi no know!!!  Di place name Bill Express...wha’ Express mean?

Express mean fi go fast!!! Dis nah go fast a &*#%%&#!“  he continued, hissing his teeth and knitting his brows.

I waited for a long while but then I had no choice. Eventually I was called to the counter.

“Welcome and sorry for the delay, the system is down but they are working on it presently” the polite customer service agent explained.

“Sure no problem” I replied. But that was not entirely true. It WAS a problem ‘cause I had spent almost 20 minutes waiting in line.

Soon I was on the busy thoroughfare contemplating whether I should take the bus or endure another nerve wrecking drive on a shuttle taxi… decisions, decisions…

“BODY CLEANSER …” a loud voice shouted.

Body cleanser…hmmmm … I wonder if he was selling Bath and Body Works, Victoria’s Secret, Avon….where is this person?

“Roots, roots tonic, body cleanser” I eventually see the vendor, an elderly Rastafarian dressed in a long robe and a matching head wrap featuring red, green and gold. He had several pins on his chest including of Haile Selassie.

On seeing him I realized that NO WAAAY would this hombre be selling bath and body works or any such products. He was more about “internal” cleansing….

“Strong back, ‘tan pon it long, roots! Buil’ up you stamina” obviously his “target market” is mainly amorous men interested in enhancing their sexual prowess.

I, on the other hand, was only interested in getting back indoors as the temperatures were extremely high.