Etiquette

Etiquette:

“the customary code of polite behaviour in society or among members 

of a particular profession or group”    ~   Oxford Dictionary

Whilst standing at the stop, in deep concentration, my thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the voice of the conductor on the coaster bus.

“Come in browning, straight a town we a go. Leaving right away! I have a seat fi you, right up front beside di driver….come nuh lovely lady, mi original browning” the conductor tried to urge me into the coaster bus.

“Yes, sexy browning you a ORIGINAL browning, straight up!”

“How do you know that?” I asked

“Yeah mi know you are original gyal no chemical browning! See you have puss color eye and you aise top brown and you finger joint dem too, so mi KNOW ef you did a bleach you aise dem and so would still black ‘cause dem parts can’t change!”

Hmmmmm, let me see. By looking at my “puss color eyes” (I think what he really meant were hazel eyes); my knuckles and ears he could conclude that I am an original “browning” and not a user of skin lightening products…Well, by jolly, I think this guy is actually brilliant! Such analysis!

Hazel Eyes

Anyway after unsuccessfully trying to convince me to board the bus, he turns his attention to a potential passenger.

“Cross Road, Town, ready one! Run come inna dis mi dawg” – he shouts to a man coming up the road.

“Watch yah, mi nah carry nuh dawg inna mi bus!!” replies driver as he slowly drives off.

“Yow Bigga, nuh ramp wid me tiday! Whey yuh a drive a go?! Yuh no see di man a come hold on!” the conductor shouts.

“Oh! A one man, mi did tink say a one dog you want carry come in yah!” the driver chuckles.

“All yuh a born eeediat yuh same Bigga, me no know a whey yuh come from!”

Soon the man boards the bus; the ‘ductor hops on the steps and stays there as his opened, flimsy uniform shirt blows in the wind and Bigga takes off down the road faster than a speeding bullet. I am left in dust plus choking on the thick, black smoke from the muffler and I conclude that bus should not be on the roads as it is a hazard!

No sooner had the “smoke” cleared and my vision restored that I see a white UFO yes an unidentified flying object tossed through the window of a moving car which is heavily tinted.

Styrofoam lunch box

We soon discover that the NASTY person has flung a lunchbox through the window. 

“WHAT A NASTY, DUTTY WRETCH!!! Look how di john crow just nyam out di food and fling di box through di window! Suppose him did lick somebody with it? Him couldn’t keep it inna one scandal bag ‘til him reach whey him a go?!!” said a matronly woman with salt n pepper coloured hair.

“A true man! Dem too nasty! Mi caaaant stand when dem do dat” added a young lady.

“Well, I have even seen someone eating mango and throwing the skin through the window of the car, which was pretty bad” I added.

Mango

“Yuh a talk ‘bout mango skin, one day mi deh downtown an’ mi see one man just hawk and spit through di cyar window! It just churn mi stomach man, dem fi do better dan dat!” said the man accompanying the elderly woman.

“Lawd! Dat just nasty man! People have some crawny behavior just tun yuh off completely!” the young woman continued.

At this point just visualizing the sight of someone spitting through the window of a moving car with sputum flying in all directions made me feel sick! YUCK!!!!

Spitting or throwing garbage from a car is just WRONG! STOP doing that. It is NASTY and gross.

Try to show some etiquette! Maybe we need to implement etiquette courses in schools starting from the basic school level and continuing to the tertiary level (just in case they forgot what they were taught as children).

Oh this would include modules on common courtesy or good manners, you know, salutations, i.e. good morning, good afternoon, etc how to say please and thank you, excuse me and you are welcome! Time to get back to the basics!